


the way we were

by astraluji



Series: caffeine & reflections [3]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sequel, Soonhoon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 20:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18746608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraluji/pseuds/astraluji
Summary: Is it possible that Soonyoung and Jihoon could still go back to the way they were before?





	the way we were

It has been said that each falling leaf leads to the start of winter. Soonyoung watches the rain as he sips on his coffee; branches sway ever so lightly in time to the rhythm of the wind blowing. Subtly hearing the rain thrumming whenever someone opens the door of the coffee shop. The sound of lo-fi music, a repeated “would you want whipped cream on that?” and quiet laughters filled the place. 

 

It has been eight months since he last had a decent conversation with Lee Jihoon. So far the only thing they tell each other is “how are you doing?” Other than them talking through a messaging app, Soonyoung didn’t know when it started, but they began to throw that one question back and forth. It was question and question; no one bothered answering. 

 

Soonyoung hasn’t been thinking of Jihoon on a daily basis; probably twice a week with a passive thought of  _ how is Jihoon _ , and  _ I wonder what he is doing right now _ from time to time. Soonyoung “hates” recalling the moments he shared with Jihoon when they were in California. It often made him space out. There was something in those moments that wouldn’t make him forget. It was not as detailed as he remembered; he can’t vividly recall where they were when they kissed or how Jihoon’s hand fit in his so well. Surely, he does not regret nor deny whatever happened between him and Jihoon. “Soonie,” Wonwoo says sharply; making Soonyoung realize that he has been lost in his thoughts for the last ten minutes. “Babe,” Wonwoo hated it when he had to repeat himself. 

 

Wonwoo is a dear friend of Soonyoung who happened to ask him out after nights of hanging out. Soonyoung knew it was time to take a step forward; he couldn’t live his life drowning in caffeine and painting Jihoon’s silhouette in everything he sees. Jihoon differed from Wonwoo. He wasn’t the type to indulge in school-related activities or even joining the debate team. Wonwoo was one to join tournaments of various video games while he is pursuing a major in computer science in university. Soonyoung would often say that his manners resembles that of a cat; especially when he wears glasses and oversized jackets. Sometimes… Most of the time, he has his nose stuck in a book, and he would only get Soonyoung’s attention when he wants to talk about what he read. Oddly, he liked it when Soonyoung messed with his hair.  _ A cat _ . It doesn’t make sense, but Soonyoung found it admirable. 

 

“I’m here,” Soonyoung assures. He listens attentively to his boyfriend even if all he can hear is “defeat” said repetitively in one paragraph — he wasn’t sure anymore. It was about one of those video games, but he was not interested to dig deep on that topic at the moment. Although he didn’t want to be rude and ask his boyfriend if he could save it for another day. Today wasn’t Soonyoung’s day; pretty sure Wonwoo got the hint, but continued on.

 

Soonyoung stares out the window, nodding at Wonwoo from time to time. He holds his drink with both hands; feeling the warmth of the cup. “Hey, I’ll go to class now,” Wonwoo presses a kiss on his forehead and bids goodbye. His thoughts are clouded, and for the time being, Soonyoung decides to stay. 

 

“Seungcheol.”

 

A voice he was sure of spoke… Jihoon. He had a distinctive sweetness in the tone of his voice. It could have been anyone, too. Yet, he knew Jihoon’s voice a lot not to mistake it for anyone else’s. Soonyoung looks subtly looks across the room and spots Jihoon; his lips pressed on Seungcheol’s cheeks. Soonyoung felt like he was watching all of it happening in slow motion, truth is, it was only a split second. He assures himself that it has been eight months, it was kind of fast in context but it was enough for Jihoon and him to find a significant other.

 

He missed Jihoon, no doubt. Reminiscing about the moments they shared seemed to be an essential part of Soonyoung’s day. He takes back what he said, he does think about Lee Jihoon on a daily basis. From the day they met until the day he suddenly disappeared; only leaving a note that didn’t even had enough explanation. Soonyoung admits that what he did wasn’t right nor permissible by any law defined in the subject of love. Overall, he missed seeing Jihoon’s smile even if most of the time he was facing this Seungcheol guy. Soonyoung tried hard to focus his hearing on Jihoon’s laugh, but he miserably fails —it wasn’t possible. Soonyoung wanted to know why seeing Jihoon caused a undescribable pang in his chest. It wasn’t two months ago since they last met, it was eight (whole) months ago.

 

Soonyoung takes the last sip of his drink before grabbing his bag. He doesn’t remember if he parked by the coffee shop or three blocks away; his mind is left in a daze. He steps out the place and stays by the storefront while he texted Wonwoo.  _ Hey, where did we park again? _

 

Almost instantly, his phone lights up with a response.  _ We parked three blocks away and walked to the café earlier _ .

 

Soonyoung digs inside his pocket finding for his car keys; it wasn’t there. Thinking that he might have left it on the table, he entered the coffee shop once again—the keys weren’t there anymore. 

 

“Did you happen to see car keys on this table?” Soonyoung shyly asks the staff.

 

“Oh, the man on that table took it,” she points subtly to Jihoon. “Thank you,” his face flushes with bright red.

 

Soonyoung walks towards Jihoon; he was alone this time. He thought that maybe Seungcheol left with the same reason as Wonwoo. “Soonyoung, you should be mindful of your belongings,” Jihoon looks up from his book slightly; catching a glimpse of Soonyoung. Eyes fixated on the book, he slides the key across the table. Soonyoung grabs it quickly, “thank you.”

 

Walking almost what felt like a whole marathon, Soonyoung finally found his car in the parking lot. He remembers how Jihoon looked at him even if he only caught it through his peripheral, and how they didn’t bother to look eye to eye; not even for a second. He wasn’t expecting to see Jihoon with red hair, but he did. It was different, Soonyoung couldn’t puzzle out whether or not this really is the Lee Jihoon he knew. In all honestly, he didn’t know the boy that much except that he was the son of a CEO and he can afford to buy six houses; maybe one for him, his clothes, his pets —He drives to his apartment trying to shun away the thoughts of Jihoon and his never-ending questions.

 

He couldn’t wrap his head around the thought of seeing Jihoon. It came with a thousand feelings and words left unsaid. It was just like yesterday when he took the most upsetting trip back to Korea; knowingly leaving a note to Jihoon. He imagines what if’s: what if Jihoon was ecstatic to go home to see Soonyoung playing around with his equipments, but falls with sadness when he reads the note. Like a broken record, he sees Jihoon and Seungcheol in front of him. Why out of all the happy moments they shared together, the painful one is etched at the back of his mind.

 

“Soonie,” Wonwoo sets his bag down on the chair, joining Soonyoung who is lying down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Soonyoung looked upset, and Wonwoo knew how to cheer him up. He stands up once again to turn off the lights and switch on the star projector. 

 

Soonyoung stares at the makeshift stars; trying to form shapes and write his name. Wonwoo looks at him; heart beating quick…  _ quicker _ , “you look like a seven year old tracing the stars. I bet you would color it in as well,” he chuckles. He lightly places his hand on Soonyoung’s cheek; staring intimately at his boyfriend. He closes the space between them and their eyes shut; Wonwoo’s soft lips meet Soonyoung’s. It was impolite to do so, but Soonyoung opens his eyes for a second; he catches Wonwoo smiling in the middle of their kiss.  It was indescribable, Soonyoung only saw this happening in movies.  _ Wonwoo loves him, he loves Wonwoo. _

 

“Say, we grab dinner out tonight?” Wonwoo asks as he straightens his hoodie. “What are you in the mood for?” Soonyoung leaves small kisses on his boyfriend’s neck. “You choose,” Wonwoo knew he was indecisive; they would've had dinner in two hours from now if he were to decide. They settle on going to a burger joint, Soonyoung’s request.

 

Wonwoo looks around for a seat, and Soonyoung follows. His eyes gaze at the boy sitting alone at the table in front of them. It was as if the universe hated him, it was Jihoon. “I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger,” he says shakingly. Wonwoo pats Soonyoung’s head before going to the counter.

 

Jihoon and Soonyoung talk through facial expressions and a few eyebrow raises before Jihoon waves and mouths a “bye”; draping his bag over his shoulder. After a minute, Soonyoung’s phone pings with a message from Jihoon.  _ It was nice seeing you again today; other than the “mishap” we had at Starbucks _ . Wonwoo comes to the table with their orders, and suspiciously, Soonyoung puts his phone face down. The former barely noticed his action and smiled lovingly when he saw Soonyoung’s face light up.  

 

☾

 

Jihoon meets Seungcheol by his car; slipping the ring in his finger before entering in the passenger's seat. He is now engaged to the man he called his ex just a year ago; the reason why he moved to Los Angeles is the same man he is marrying after college. It was an unforeseen event upon coming back home during the summer break. His father, a notable man, decided to talk it through with a persuasion of a few contracts and “it would be better if” statements.

 

Society wasn’t up for what awaits Seungcheol and Jihoon, but gladly, his dad approved of them. For obvious reasons, they would be granted permission to fly to America for their wedding. Jihoon would say “wedding” along with an air quote; considering his age, he didn’t want the whole thing planted in his mind. He didn’t hate the man, he hated the idea enclosed in article number six on why he had to marry his ex-boyfriend. Solely for the engagement, Jihoon had to stay in Korea and finish college there. 

 

“Jihoon?” Seungcheol glanced quickly at him before turning down the volume of the radio. “Anything bothering you?” He shakes his head; leaving a kiss on Seungcheol’s cheek just before the traffic lights turned green.

 

The bitter scent of beer and rum pervaded in Seungcheol’s bedroom. The couple decided to watch movies and drink. It was a new feeling for Jihoon; he takes a sip and he starts to recall the last time he drank, he was with Soonyoung then. The strong taste leaves a trace that seemed to be familiar—Soonyoung’s lips pressed against his. It caused a shiver down his spine.

 

“You know I love you right?” Seungcheol taps on his glass.

 

There was something in the way Seungcheol asked. Jihoon was either scared or assured, this time, he can say he is scared. Not that Seungcheol had a bad temper, but they often argued when the’re both under the influence of alcohol. Jihoon couldn’t lie, he already had three bottles and the movie is only on its thirty-minute mark. It has been known that one can’t quite control their thoughts or what they say; Jihoon tries his best not to slip an accidental “Soonyoung.”

 

“We’ve practically been high school lovers, and now we’re in college,” Jihoon scoffs, “and I love you.” Seungcheol puts down his glass and takes his boyfriends face between his hands; his eyes beginning to turn red from the alcohol flowing through his veins. They share a heated kiss; hands wandering on each other’s bodies. Lips finding Jihoon’s pulse, sucking delicately on his skin. Seungcheol pulled the smaller boy into a kiss that was nothing more than a peck of the lips, and they break apart.

 

☾

 

Soonyoung wanted to know more about Wonwoo’s interests. He often than not wonders why Wonwoo is amazed with all these video games. All Soonyoung knew how to play was Undertale and a little bit of League of Legends since Jihoon taught him how; that was nine months ago, he probably forgot about it too. Soonyoung and Wonwoo decide to look around the alley at ten in the evening. Lucky for them, there was an internet cafe that was open 24/7.

 

“I used to go here during high school,” Wonwoo flashes a smile at Soonyoung while they walk up the stairs. Wonwoo claimed that his username in the system was ‘wonucat’ which he came up with when he was fourteen years old; Soonyoung quietly laughed before taking the blame that he was “rude.” In his defense, the only username he had was ‘내가hosh’ and it is six times better than ‘wonucat.’ More so, he thought.

 

Wonwoo was part of a league, and he took gaming very seriously; even earning money through tournaments. This is where Soonyoung takes the fall—Wonwoo’s in-game name was ‘Helios.’ Helios was known for being the god and personification of the sun in a late form of an Ancient Greek religion. Soonyoung’s jaw dropped as Wonwoo warmly explained to him the history along with a few facts. He’s dating Wonwoo who ended first year college as one of the top three in his major, he came in as top one. That was alongside gaming and working for his family business as an amateur accountant. Soonyoung was no longer surprised of what Wonwoo was capable of… In a good way. 

 

Soonyoung startled when someone took a seat beside him. He was wearing a dark blue hoodie with a black mouth mask. Soonyoung pushed away his curiosity and resumed watching Wonwoo immersed in killing the baron nashor. Soonyoung was in between hearing keyboard smashes and clicking, it didn’t bother him at all.

 

“Soonyoung,” it was Jihoon. Soonyoung quickly grabbed his phone to type in a message to Jihoon.  _ What are you doing here?. _

 

Ping.  _ I’ve been here an hour ago and saw you walk in.  _

 

_ Three mishaps in one day _ , Soonyoung sighs to himself. Whenever Soonyoung chose where to go, it always ends up that Jihoon was also there. He wasn’t sure why destiny decides to play him like ‘that.’

 

“We won!” Wonwoo’s nose scrunches with a wide grin across his face, “want to grab coffee? My treat.” he smiled in agreement. It was impossible that Kwon Soonyoung would resist coffee, everyone close to him knew that.

 

They arrive at home; a little fluttery because of the caffeine intake they had late at night. Even so, Wonwoo and Soonyoung ended up sleeping after thirty minutes of Wonwoo’s impromptu story-telling. Soonyoung would say it didn’t have a correlation to the prompt he gave, but his attractive, smart boyfriend had a soothing voice he could listen to for hours on hours.

 

Soonyoung is woken up by Wonwoo’s forehead kiss. It has been Wonwoo’s favorite thing to do if he wanted to tell his boyfriend “hey, let’s have breakfast now.” After a few minutes, he is now greeted by a breakfast in bed, an English breakfast; probably cooked by Wonwoo or his personal chef.

 

“I hope you like it,” Wonwoo smirked. 10 out of 10, it was the chef.

 

“Can we go to a café today? I want to study for my exam tomorrow,” he asks. 

 

“I don’t know who hit you with a rock or two, but we are on a break since yesterday,” Wonwoo leans in to kiss Soonyoung, “what café in particular?”

 

He scrolls down Google Maps, choosing a random place to go to, “The Min’s.”  

 

“Have we been there?” Wonwoo’s brows raise with curiosity.

 

He stares into Wonwoo’s eyes. They have been together for two months, but he is only noticing how his boyfriend’s eyes was russet brown. “I don’t think so,” Soonyoung pauses, “no.”

 

“Hook it up on my GPS,” Wonwoo instructs; holding the other’s wrist. 

 

Soonyoung’s eyes widen at the sudden approach of his boyfriend. “Can we leave after an hour?” he suggests. In retrospect, they would’ve gone right at that moment. Instead, they stay in bed for the next hour; listening to the mellow tunes that came from next door. Soonyoung was relaxing in the ambience offered by their neighbor’s music and the remaining scent of bacon until Wonwoo starts bickering on how much he wanted to try the fruitade from the cafe. 

 

Arriving to the place, Soonyoung’s face immediately turns pink at the sight of Jihoon with Seungcheol. “What do you want?” Wonwoo interrupts Soonyoung’s train of thoughts. While looking at the menu, he catches Jihoon looking towards his direction; instinctively, he moves to the opposite side of Wonwoo. “I’ll have a muffin and a fruitade,” Soonyoung grinned.

 

Soonyoung takes out his phone and checks all four messages from Jihoon.

 

_ So, we meet again.  _

 

_ Soonyoung. _

 

_ I can still see you.  _

 

_ Can we talk? _

 

Soonyoung’s brows lowered as he typed in a reply.  _ When? _

 

_ Can we meet tonight? _

 

Soonyoung tucks his phone in his pocket as if he calculated when Wonwoo was going to face him. “Here you go,” he hands Soonyoung’s order before they settle at the table right beside where Jihoon is. Soonyoung has been a state wherein he is in between wanting to talk to Jihoon and have a lengthy conversation with him and avoiding him. He did, for sure, hurt Jihoon’s feelings and it would be morally wrong to act like he was the one who had “bad blood” towards the other. He wanted to apologize, but it was also wrong to bring it up; of course, even now that they had their significant others. The only response he could possible get from Jihoon is “can we forget about it?” in which he wouldn’t know how to react after that. 

 

Wonwoo exhales sharply, “so, I have this thing tonight with my friends. There’s this tournament coming up—” he sips on his drink. He continues talking about how his team made it to the last round, and they needed to go out tonight for some extra practice in laning phase and rotating around the map. Soonyoung often thought how complicated that sounded; esports is so different from gaming for recreation. “Sure thing, babe,” Soonyoung intertwines his fingers with Wonwoo.

 

Soonyoung pulls out his phone and scrolls through his notifications.  _ I think it’s a yes _ . Jihoon texts him for the nth time. Soonyoung looks beside him, and Jihoon was alone. The two of them make eye contact before he shifts his facial expression that obviously looked like he is blatantly asking “where’s Seungcheol?”

 

Jihoon looks down on the phone. _He had to go. There’s this pre-tournament practice_ _for a video game thing_.

 

“Soonie,” Wonwoo grabs Soonyoung’s attention. “Did you see that guy at the other table?” he looks enraged; fiddling with the straw of his drink to stay calm. 

 

“Yeah,” his voice trembled at the tone of Wonwoo’s voice along with his facial expression. He was usually calm and composed; Soonyoung didn’t know how to register this side of his boyfriend, it was  _ too _ foreign.

 

“We’re going against his team,” Wonwoo mutters. It could be clearly seen how Jihoon’s eyes widened when he heard what Wonwoo said despite looking down on his phone. Soonyoung, however, didn’t know how to react; Wonwoo’s eyes were dark. He was sure there was something more than simply going against Seungcheol’s team, but he didn’t want to linger on that thought. It was Wonwoo’s business. 

 

Wonwoo excuses himself when his phone rings. Soonyoung and Jihoon were left on their tables; not knowing whether they should talk or not. It turned silent between them even if they were just talking through facial expressions and a few body languages earlier.

 

“Hey,” Soonyoung whispers. “It’s been a while,” Jihoon smiles weakly.

 

“Why do we end up in the same places?” Soonyoung asks. It was bothering him, if he were to be frank. He suggests that they should name a place where they plan on meeting tonight; the catch? They have to say it at the count of three. “Three… Two… One—”

 

“Maple tree house.”

 

“Maple tree house.” 

 

The door opens, revealing an irritated Wonwoo. “What happened?” Soonyoung brushes his hand on Wonwoo’s forearm; reassuring him. “I have to go right now. I’m sorry for always leaving you when we’re out on a date.” Soonyoung utters an “it’s okay,” the taller boy leans down to kiss him. “Oh,” Wonwoo walks back, “do you want me to call dad’s parking attendant, maybe he can bring your car?” Soonyoung shakes his head.

 

“Want me to give you a ride?” Jihoon asks, eyes avoiding Soonyoung. “Sure,” his voice almost fading to a whisper. Admittedly, Soonyoung wasn’t used to this. He still remembers when they had to take a bus ride. They would probably know more about each other if they were in their hometowns. Based on articles, moving to a different country means adjusting to that kind of society and “blending” in. It would feel like going back to square one and hi-hello’s.

 

Jihoon and Soonyoung walk to the parking structure that was a block away. They walk side by side; hands brushing against each other. “Is it that one?” Soonyoung points at the car parked at the very corner. “Yes, Soonyoung,” Jihoon reaches down his pocket, pressing the unlock button. Soonyoung stood hesitant by the passenger’s side. 

 

“The door is unlocked,” Jihoon says pointedly; noticing Soonyoung frozen in his spot. 

 

Soonyoung looked down to fix his gaze on the number painted on the floor. “Listen, Ji—”

 

Lean arms wrapped around Soonyoung’s waist, and Jihoon’s lips are pressed against his. It felt different,  _ so different _ . Soonyoung’s hands find either side of Jihoon’s face, pulling him closer. His mind was clouded seconds ago; now it was filled with only Lee Jihoon…  _ Lee Jihoon _ …  _ Lee Jihoon _ . Out of all the situations Soonyoung can picture himself in, Jihoon has his fingers carded through his hair as he deepens the kiss. He can’t remember how they ended up in the backseat of the car. “Jihoon,” Soonyoung whines. “You’re not sober, are you?” Jihoon shakes his head as he buries his face in the crook of Soonyoung’s neck. 

 

“I’m engaged to Seungcheol,” he kisses Soonyoung chastely, yet it slowly becomes hungrier. Jihoon leaves open mouth kisses on his collarbone and pulse; Soonyoung lightly pulls on the other’s hair, suppressing a moan. 

 

“Who proposed?” he asks, voice almost hoarse.

 

“It’s arranged,” Soonyoung’s expression changed; he stares blankly at a short distance. “I’m not happy,” Jihoon suddenly admits; his free hand unbuckling Soonyoung’s belt.

 

“You didn’t do anything?” Soonyoung struggles to speak; other than holding back a whimper, he didn’t know if it would sound harsh. “No,” Jihoon whispers. Soonyoung, having his legs wrapped around the smaller boy’s body, brought Jihoon closer.

 

The car windows were evidently fogged up. Finding their discarded pants, they decide to rest before driving to Soonyoung’s place. Jihoon wrapped his arm around Soonyoung, and they stay in that moment. It was already six in the evening, they drove with the windows down heading to Soonyoung’s apartment. Silence enveloped them for about ten minutes. Soonyoung decided that they should stop by a bubble tea shop before getting back on the road. It was an hour drive, to be fair.  “When’s the wedding?” Soonyoung asks jokingly, sipping on his green tea boba. 

 

“When we graduate,” Jihoon’s eyes stared at the road; taking a quick look at Soonyoung. “Can you?” Jihoon asks. He takes Jihoon’s drink and places the straw near his lips so he could take a sip; he sets it down once again in the cup holder.

 

“That’s in two years.”

 

“Yeah, but Cheol is graduating next year.”

 

“He has to wait for you,” Soonyoung looks at Jihoon. “I’d be mad if he didn’t,” Jihoon chuckles, taking a quick sip of his drink. Around six more tunes played on the radio, and they find themselves a block away from Soonyoung’s place. He practically “begged” Jihoon to stop there instead of dropping him in front of the building. Jihoon and Soonyoung exchanged a monotone “bye.”

 

Soonyoung turns the key to his apartment. He was filled with guilt, and betrayal. Barely opening the door, he sees Wonwoo on the bed; laptop rested on his thighs as he typed. 

 

“Babe,” Soonyoung stares at Wonwoo. “Yeah?” Wonwoo puts down the laptop beside him as Soonyoung runs towards him. After what happened between him and Jihoon, it made him realize that at the end of the day, he dedicated his life to Wonwoo; literally and metaphorically. Tears rolled down his cheek, and Wonwoo pulls him into a hug.

 

He wanted to stay in this moment forever. Soonyoung never knew what he was looking for until he saw Wonwoo. Jihoon? That was in the past. Love is a complicated process; finding love and committing to it. Soonyoung is dating a smart, caring, and understanding man. He would often call himself  _ lucky _ . 

 

☾

 

Jihoon picks up Soonyoung the next morning. Their supposed dates went on another gaming session, and they just didn’t want to budge. They spent the entirety of the day looking at museums and walking at the park; what they practically did when they were in Los Angeles. He recalls the time when Soonyoung jinxed him; not talking felt like that except no one was willing to buy that soda. 

 

Jihoon got into drinking since he got back with Seungcheol and being greeted “lovingly” at his home with an arranged marriage. Other than that, he also wanted to ask Soonyoung about him and Wonwoo; he was stubborn and didn’t answer a single question about it. Possibly not even telling him what Wonwoo’s last name was.

 

Bottles and bottles of beer are placed on Jihoon’s bedside table. Soonyoung is flushed with dark red as he takes a sip from his fourth bottle. “You’re not a heavy drinker, you should stop,” Jihoon suggests while opening his second bottle. 

 

Soonyoung ignored Jihoon and stared at the television. Jihoon doesn’t understand why, but they were only watching music videos. It wasn’t that deep. “Soonyoung!”

 

Soonyoung reaches for the remote and lowers the volume, “Jihoon.” The other nods signaling Soonyoung to continue.

 

“I love Wonwoo. I can’t stress it enough,” Soonyoung pauses to open a bag of chips, “I don’t know how to explain it, but my love for him outweighs my desire of coming back to you.” Tears well up in Jihoon’s eyes. Soonyoung hasn’t been that open to him since then. He honestly thought he pieced out who and what Soonyoung is and what he is capable of. He was okay with what Soonyoung said. Despite all the arguments he had with Seungcheol, he was willing to marry the guy. He didn’t like the arranged marriage thing because he wanted his life to move in his own pace. 

 

Jihoon couldn’t get himself to speak; only a few uhh’s and umm’s. Maybe a part of him still longs for Soonyoung to come back, yet it took some time to see him around. He saw Soonyoung to be a “vital” part of his life on a daily since they met. At this point of time, it was important for Jihoon to understand and respect Soonyoung’s perspective and opinions. 

 

“Soonyoung, I understand you. I feel the same towards Seungcheol. It’s like whenever I look at him, I —” Soonyoung covers Jihoon’s eyes with the palm of his hand as he kisses him passionately.

 

Jihoon is faced with a different hue of Soonyoung. He deemed him as someone who hates skinship, let alone when he kept distancing himself whenever their arms bumped. Today, he showed himself in a ring of brilliant red aura. Soonyoung took every  _ dying  _ chance to touch Jihoon.

 

☾

 

Soonyoung cracks his eyes open; his legs are tangled with Jihoon’s. He doesn’t remember how he ended up there or what happened prior to that. It was the alcohol, Soonyoung thought. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he still longed to be with Jihoon. He often would finds himself imagining what if he was with Jihoon or what would have happened if he didn’t leave him hanging. Telling Wonwoo about him and Jihoon was unavoidable; he caused too much mistakes behind his back.

 

“I’ll go now,” Soonyoung untangles himself from Jihoon; straightening his shirt.

 

It was precisely common sense to know that Wonwoo would react violenty. Soonyoung would prepare himself for that after seeing how he reacted when he saw Seungcheol. He loves Wonwoo and only “liked” Jihoon, yet it would haunt him more knowing he is in between his feelings for them. It would take  _ a lot _ to muster enough strength to tell Wonwoo that, he did not want to keep living his life knowing he has divided feelings.

 

“Soonyoung,” Wonwoo quickly glances. Soonyoung sits beside him; heart beating out of time. He didn’t hesitate, “I kissed Jihoon.” The sound of “defeat” coming from the laptop echoed in the room; in time with what Soonyoung confessed. “I know,” he hold Soonyoungs hand shakingly. 

 

“How did you? How?” Soonyoung stuttered.

 

“I mean, not that you guys,” Wonwoo flails his hands, “because I saw your photos and you’re not good at hiding stuff.” Soonyoung suddenly remembers that his notes app had poems he wrote whenever he thought about Jihoon; also making an acrostic poem with “Woozi.” Wonwoo didn’t lie about anything. He knew that it was going to happen; he honestly thought he could make Soonyoung forget about Jihoon. The day he asked Soonyoung out was a case of wrong timing. He asked him out while Soonyoung was at that stage of venting out to him, and he thought it would make Soonyoung better if he can help him forget Jihoon. 

 

Wonwoo brings Soonyoung to a hug, “it’s okay, tiger.” Involuntarily, he brushes the hair away from Soonyoung’s face. They sit in silence; Soonyoung’s head resting on Wonwoo’s shoulder.

 

☾

 

It took at least two months for Jihoon to break it off with Seungcheol and explain it all to his dad, and a year for Soonyoung and Jihoon to find their rhythm. It was awkward for the first few months until they started calling their hang outs as “dates.” Soonyoung didn’t know why they always started off as if they didn’t know each other; luckily, they got through it. Soon enough, Jihoon’s dad approved of them and even let Soonyoung take the guest room. It was across Jihoon’s and they would always sneak at night. It was an unspoken rule that they can only sleep in one bed if they were engaged; constantly breaking the rules was their “statement.” They would often say it’s part of living in the moment; partially true.

 

_ Living in the moment _ . That is why they find themselves at a boat in the middle of Niagara Falls on an August afternoon. Their tux was barely seen because of the blue raincoats, but at least they knew why they were there. Jihoon was always meant for Soonyoung, and Soonyoung was meant for Jihoon. Going to America for an escapade together was a hint that they were going to get married; Jihoon’s dad, however, failed to comprehend it.

 

“Fuck it,” Jihoon takes off his raincoat and Soonyoung does the same. A repetitive sound of “put it back on” can be heard from the crews. Ignoring it, Jihoon pulls Soonyoung’s waist; bringing him in to a deep kiss. It was a moment they didn’t want to forget; the wind blew just in time that they weren’t wearing that awful blue raincoat. They both pull away, quietly laughing at each other before resuming their kiss. They were joined in marriage by the captain of the ship. It was not as magical as the wedding his father wanted; he didn’t want a grandeur wedding that included two private planes to bring both sides of the family to America. Jihoon wanted it to be simple, Soonyoung was already the best thing in his life. Nothing else could top that. 


End file.
